Dan had a fairly good night’s sleep, while Chris was much more restless, thinking about the long journey ahead. In the morning we went through our now familiar routine of getting the boys out the door and down to the restaurant. Karl seemed a little suspicious that we knew our way around somewhere he hadn’t been before, but we didn’t dwell on that particular point. We had a fairly slow, relaxed breakfast, or at least as slow and relaxed as you can manage with two children who seem determined to either destroy the place or injure themselves, and sometimes both.
Fortunately, staying at an Accor property meant we were able to arrange a 3pm checkout, which fitted nicely with our 6:45pm departure from Johannesburg. After breakfast we sat outside in the warm sun for a few minutes. It really was only a few minutes, but with no immediate time pressure we were both able to stop and take a breath. That might not sound like much, but it was one of only a handful of times this trip where we had both properly stopped, rather than being run off our feet by the boys or wound up by the latest problem.
We spent the next few hours getting our bags packed and organised as best we could. Dan is recovering well and starting to find the mental workload much more manageable, which is a welcome improvement. Once we had made some progress, we ventured across the road for lunch. ‘Across the road’ makes it sound much simpler than it was. There were traffic lights that weren’t working, pedestrian crossings that cars seemed quite happy to race through, uneven footpaths and concrete to negotiate with the pushchair, and a route around the outside of a parking garage to find the pedestrian entrance. All very much part of our South African experience.
Once inside, Dan had become enough of an expert on the mall to lead our wee train straight through to the food court. We finally managed to convince Karl that there were food groups outside pizza, and went to Wimpy one last time. He had a burger and a milkshake, which he thought was pretty cool, although he only managed about half of the milkshake. Afterwards we did a little shopping. Chris bought a couple of shirts for work, and we picked up some more formula storage containers to replace one that had somehow disappeared along the way. Then it was time for the same life-and-death journey across the road for the final time, and back to the hotel to finish packing in earnest.
Despite having plenty of time, we still somehow ended up in a rush for our 3pm checkout. Fortunately, the extra-large suitcase bought earlier in the trip made it fairly straightforward to get everything back into the right number of bags. We loaded the rental car, checked out and headed away from our last South African hotel. With the airport punched into the GPS, we were on our way.
Chris was by now driving rather like a local, cutting in where he needed to and doing things that would have him labelled a bit of a tool back in New Zealand. The combination of aggressive and defensive driving had become quite familiar, although he still couldn’t entirely suppress his Kiwi habits and let the odd person in on the motorway, apparently much to the disgust of those around him. We passed another crash with a small fire, which had stopped burning by the time we reached it. Once again we were struck by how little emergency response we could see, and how everyone simply worked their way around it. It was very different from what we are used to at home. The delay was enough for Chris to decide against a detour to refuel the rental car. That could be Avis’s problem. We hate to think what it will cost, but at this point we were rather keen to just get home.
Returning the car at OR Tambo was straightforward, and after some serious luggage Tetris we set off to find check-in. We still had plenty of time, so there was no great rush as we wandered through the airport. The staff at the Qantas Gold counter were fantastic. They linked our bookings so we could all board in the same boarding groups for the journey, tagged our bags all the way through to Auckland, and gave us specific directions to the British Airways lounge.
Getting to security proved a little more interesting, mostly because Chris had fixed in his head that checking in at Terminal B must mean departing from Terminal B. The idea of heading towards the gates in Terminal A therefore took a little while to sink in. Eventually he accepted that he was quite wrong and we followed the signs for international departures. For reasons that weren’t clear, the usual security point was closed, so we were diverted down a strange corridor behind the check-in counters before eventually popping out at another security area. Before joining the line we ran into Whitney, Reggie and Reggie’s family, and were able to say goodbye to the Mosterts. We bumped into Whitney and Reggie a couple more times in the security queue, although we didn’t see them again once we headed to the lounge.
The British Airways lounge was beautiful and very comfortable. We could even see through to the first class dining room, which looked rather lovely. Clearly that wasn’t part of the plan for us lowly economy passengers, but you can dream. Unfortunately, the boys weren’t quite as interested in appreciating the surroundings as we were.
For a long time we have joked about ‘Chris’s Karl’ and ‘Dan’s Karl’, with Chris generally getting the better-behaved version. After nearly thirty days together as one family unit, without Chris disappearing off for work, we now seem to have just one Karl. We would both quite like Chris’s Karl back! It is lovely that he is so comfortable with us both, but this version is very vocal about his thoughts, wants and needs, and quite difficult to persuade to be quiet. Meanwhile Isaac was busy demonstrating his climbing skills on the pushchair, trying to tip it back and treating it as a dance platform. We were very conscious of the other people in the lounge, so Dan eventually took both boys for a much-needed walk to burn off some energy. Chris guiltily enjoyed a few minutes of silence and got some TV shows ready for the long flight.
We made use of early boarding, although the final security checks at the gate rather cancelled out the advantage. Once on board, we found our seats and had enough space to put the bags away. Chris was a few rows back, across the other aisle, with a spare seat next to him. This was quite an appealing arrangement for Chris, but less useful for the family as a whole. Dan, Karl and Isaac were at the bassinet bulkhead, next to a lady travelling on her own.
About an hour and a half to two hours after takeoff, Isaac had a fairly substantial meltdown, with plenty of screeching, squealing and crying. Dan did a wonderful job keeping things together. From a few rows back it didn’t seem quite as disruptive to Chris as it understandably did to Dan, who was right in the middle of it. Our neighbour was accommodating and understanding, but it was clear that this was going to be a challenging journey for her. A plan was hatched for Chris to swap seats with her, and that became the arrangement for most of the flight. Up until then he had been able to take Karl back to sit beside him and offer support from a short distance away. Sitting right next to everyone meant he could properly share the hands-on work with Dan, which made a real difference. The trade-off was the limited legroom at the bulkhead and a much smaller chance of sleep for Chris.
Once the cabin lights went down for the night, both boys slept very well. Chris managed perhaps an hour to an hour and a half of broken dozing, thanks to the lack of legroom. By his reckoning, Dan managed closer to four hours of broken sleep, although she might dispute that estimate. We arrived in Sydney with Dan and the boys about as upbeat as you could reasonably expect after such a flight, and Chris looking like the walking dead. In fact, some of the walking dead probably looked more alive. A shower in the temporary Qantas Business lounge helped him resemble something slightly more human, although not necessarily much more interesting.
The couple of hours in Sydney turned out to be just about right. There was time for the shower, some food and drinks for the boys, and a chance to regroup without feeling like we were sitting around endlessly waiting for the final flight. We also managed to buy some extra baby formula sachets at the airport, which was handy. We found our gate without too much trouble and were there before boarding started. Karl wanted to see the Qantas plane, which put us near the front of the queue, and the staff quickly spotted a travelling family who probably looked as though they were reaching the end of their tether.
There was a little kerfuffle before boarding because a cello was travelling too. It had a seat, but no boarding pass, and the staff seemed a little unsure how to manage that particular passenger. Once the cello had received its priority boarding, we were allowed on ahead of the main queue. This gave us enough time to get everyone settled and sort out which bags needed to be overhead and which needed to stay at our feet. We were ready for the last flight back to New Zealand.
That flight was a bit of a game of two halves. Chris watched the clock almost minute by minute, counting down the final stretch, while Dan found it quite short and relatively easy. Having Chris in the same row and able to help for the whole flight may have had something to do with our differing impressions. We both thought the food and service on the trans-Tasman flight were very good, and noticeably better than the food on our long-haul flights between Australia and Johannesburg.
Finally we landed in Auckland, only to discover that the airbridge had a fault and needed an electrician. The announcement that the delay could be of uncertain length wasn’t exactly what we wanted to hear, but fortunately it only held us up for about five or ten minutes. Sitting near the front, we were able to get off quickly once the doors opened. Having previously learnt what happens when you dilly-dally and end up at the back of the immigration queues, we worked well as a family unit and powered through in record time. Karl, of course, decided he urgently needed the toilet just as we reached the queue, so that was the next priority.
Our bags came out quickly and without any problems. We tried the express option for our biosecurity declarations, but Karl’s passport once again refused to read, which meant going through the full biosecurity line after collecting the luggage. Even with that little hiccup, the arrival into Auckland went remarkably well. We were both absolutely delighted to be back in New Zealand.
From there we walked through to our airport hotel, one of the many hotels around New Zealand that could reasonably claim to be Chris’s second home. The welcome was fantastic, we had a room upgrade, and the cot was already in the room ready to go. After everything along the way, it was lovely to have that part be so easy. We made it to bed at the fairly reasonable hour of about 1am, even if Karl and Isaac’s body clocks were still insisting it was the middle of the day.
Chris, Dan, Karl and Isaac